Filling the Emptyness

For Many years this was the feeling;
There's always something missing deep inside, I have this empty feeling and I hate it.
I have spent many years with a emptiness in me a hole. I tried to fill it with many things mostly self distructive.  Even religion but never did anything help.  Activities in pusuit of self fullfilment do not fill that void and I didn't find God pursuing selfish interest

I had to stop praying for my life to be a certain way I had to stop telling God how  my life should go.  I had to start asking God for how to trust in him and for courage to trust in him.  I had to find the willingness to accept his will in my life and surrendar my need to have things my way.  This was the hardest of all things to change and the easist thing to slip back into, thinking it should go my way.

I had to start to Look every day for Gods awesome presence in my life and others. And his power in your life fill that hole with God invite him in thats what belongs there is God but he has given you the choice we must ask him daily or some times for me every 5 minutes 

Learn to think about others and their needs before yourself.  It is by self forgetting that one awakens to eternal Light.

I have found being happy comes from doing the opposite thing that my selfish nature wants me to do.  Think of God and others and not my self.

Living in harmony with my Fellow man

Dear Lord, as I spend more time talking to you and more than anything listening to you I have learned better communication skills with my fellow children of yours. instead of being passive aggressive in my communicating i am now better at communicating my needs to others as you communicate your needs for me with love kindness and your desire for a better friendship or relationship has taught me to seek the same from my fellow man.

This is a great hurdle for me and one that has taken a long time to achieve thank you Lord for helping me find a path to love and live with those around me in harmony.

Let God be judge not I

Dear God I spend so much time judging others, judging them for the very sins i am guilty of myself. Lord help me to remember that I am not without sin and that I should not throw stones at others but turn my judgment on myself to clean my own house. I should spend my time instead preparing my soul for that day that I meet you. I want to stand tall without shame in your glory. Give me Courage to make amends give me faith to forgive myself. Oh help me Lord to be more like you help me to shed the sins of man and learn the forgiveness and love of Grace. For it is only by forgiving that I am forgiven it is only by blessing others with love that I'm blessed with love. Help me to do thy will today.

God Please teach me to Love

Dear God help us to learn to support the ones we love, unconditionally instead of judging rashly their actions.  We look from the outside and think we know the inside of anothers life or their heart.  We emotionally abandon those we say we love and judge them, because we think what they are doing or thinking is wrong.  We forget that love is not conditional it is without judgement or control it just is love.  We say we are the voice of reason when what we are doing is judging and controling.   Lord teach us to take the lesson from your uncoonditional love. Your non-stop presense in our life gently guiding putting the voice of reason in my thoughts while still being constant always their to support and answer our prayers for direction until we find ourselves heading down the path you have designed for us. 

Many times in my life the path you have laid in front of me is not one that others see as logical sometimes even I didn't see it as logical.  Those who say they love me judged and abandon me for what they say as crazy or illogical. They focus all their energy on telling me or others what I was doing as wrong, when instead they should be supporting me and trying to understand my decisions and actions, or asking you to guide them in their love for me and how they should support me.  Sometimes I have felt so abandoned by those that love me at the times that I am operating on blind faith.  As so many that have before me like Abraham and Moses.  Each of those walks of faith have had the biggest impact for good in my life and have strengthened my faith and allowed me to walk mor closely with you.

Lord please lets us remember that I don't know your will in my life let alone anothers and so I must not interfere in anothers life but only love unconditionally.  Let me always remember the words of St. Francis;

May I do thy will Always!!!!

Perpetual motion in our lives, spontaneously converts our positive thoughts or actions in to another positive action, (i.e. “pass it forward”) in reverse perpetual motion converts our negative thoughts or actions into I life of futility and no hope.  Please God let me remember today that every thought and action I take can have an effect on my peace of mind, serenity and relationship with you. 

Learning to be the Light

Sunday I met this lady that lost everything in a ponzi scheme.  Driven by greed she has lost everything and now serves samples to passer byes at a local mall.  This morning as i listened to my christian radio the song Learning to be the light came on, this was the first time i heard it and was lifted by the words so close to home about being lost and finding salvatioin.  This lead to prayer for this lady and for me.  For me, I prayed “Dear God please let me never be driven by my defects, let me always remember by letting you guide my life I will never feel hopeless ever again.  It is by surrendering to you I am freed”.  As I said this prayer this morning I began to feel so much gratitude for my life for being saved from the things that destroyed me daily, that I always have hope.  I felt the his spirit lift my heart and this over whelming gratitude and tears of relief, that no matter what happens in my life I will never feel that sense of loss because once I have experience this kind of release from the bindings of defects/sins in my life I will always turn back to God for I will always know that my God never leaves and has taken a hopeless woman of no faith and turned me in to a person that wants to give all the light of God in their life.  Please all pray for this woman who lost everything that she may find faith.  Hope this link inspires you as it does me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqs24i1RBQo

Gods Love to you, God Bless

Do I try to bully God

God:  I don’t need you telling me how to do my job, or what I should or shouldn’t be doing for you, I need you to trust that I have a perfect plan for your life.  You say you have Faith so live like you do trust in me, I’m the only one who will not fail you, all my children are imperfect, don’t expect so much from them.

In my fear of not getting something I want, I tend to demand like a spoiled child, instead of praying for my own acceptance of Gods will in my life